


but there is no rest here (Prompt 1 - Crux)

by unmended



Series: FFXIVWrite2020 [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: #FFXIVWrite2020, Ambiguous Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Dark Knight Questline (Final Fantasy XIV) Spoilers, Dark Knight Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Dissociation, Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers Spoilers, Gen, This is extremely self-indulgent DRK emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:21:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26239996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unmended/pseuds/unmended
Summary: A part of you wonders if they have always been there, as you can't imagine what loneliness would feel like without the press of aether against you that both is and isn't yours.Insistent. Strong.Theirs.
Relationships: Fray Myste/Warrior of Light
Series: FFXIVWrite2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1906036
Comments: 6
Kudos: 35
Collections: Dark Knight Drabbles n Fics, Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched Bookclub FFXIV-Writes 2020 Collection





	but there is no rest here (Prompt 1 - Crux)

* * *

  
  
Fordola once said: "All that power, all that pain - It's too much for anyone."

She was right of course, but you had a little help in the end, _didn't you?_

You were sincere when you told her you kept going because you fight for those you have lost -

For those you can _yet save_.  
  


  
But there is something else. Something gnawing at you as you sit, sleepless, in your room in the Forgotten Knight.  
  
There, deep in your heart of hearts, is the desire to run. To break, to _shatter._

To not have this fall to you, again. To not have to watch those around you wither and die while you stand and keep trudging on, again. To be protected, yourself.  
  


**_That's what truly scares you, isn't it? That this will leave you alone with nothing?_ ** _  
  
_

A hum that is not yours rises unbidden at the back of your throat. A question. A press. A hollow voice.  
  


**_Aye, that’s it, is it not? I've always known…It might be easier to pretend that we differ on this, but I know you know that isn’t true._ **

The press of Fray's aether is not one of judgement, nor anger, but one to soothe. You have not felt the rise of bile or bitter anger from them since Whitebrim. No, the anger here is all your own.

This time the feel is a gentle sincerity. Not... Something you thought them capable of if you have to be honest.

(And you do)

They bristle within at the tease, their presence settling deep within your being, writing itself into your bones to calm and to mend. Your soul is brighter now, more whole, but the cracks are only just freshly mended.

**_You care for them all, I know you do - your friends._** They press at your hands, your face, almost touching. A caress. **_I do, too._**

The privacy of your inn room is not quite the same when you are one, but also two.

  
  
**_You cannot save everyone if you've given of yourself too freely. You need to rest._ **

_  
  
_You let out a shaking breath and push back from your writing desk, rubbing at closed eyes. Your heart beats steady, but you are weary. The crux of the matter is that you have been tired for a long time. Your soul aches for something far beyond memory, and Fray whispers to you:

**_Know that I am here, ready, all you need to do is say it._ **

  
You laugh, breathily, and ask what they would have you do.

**_Let me take the burden for you - even just for a little while._ **

_  
  
_You start to slowly shake your head.

  
  
**_I had to watch you splinter and crack_ \- **Fray ghosts along your collar, their bitter frustration a sharp and painful thing.

  
  
- ** _trying to hold you together at the seams while you insisted on pushing onward and keeping me out. I will not have it again. Not from you._**

 ** _  
  
_**Something dark and possessive coils in your gut, sending butterflies loose. You both meet in the middle, somewhere deep in your chest - Fray pressing expectantly out towards you.

  
**_Let me help you.  
  
_ **

Their hand takes yours and you let them, melting into the touch.

  
  
"I do... tire of this _charade..._ " You breathe out to the empty room, eyes shifting to molten gold as you fall into yourself to rest, head tilting back.

  
Fray curls around your soul protectively, as if to say:

_I will keep you safe_

and

_I will not let anyone hurt you again_

and you sleep, knowing they will be there when you wake.  
  
  


* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Givin this 'ol writing thing the 'ol try this month dhsjakhjjk.
> 
> Please enjoy my DRK related ramblings. 
> 
> I love Fray. Thank u for reading.
> 
> If you're of the writing persuasion or generally just want to yell about final fantasy xiv, come and join usssss in the discorrrrrd:
> 
> [Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club](https://discord.gg/4gUTQta)


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